LIVING IN THE PAST

THE PAST....NO MORE!

Up until several years ago, I hung onto my past, because that is all I knew and unfortunately my past was not very happy.  At age 14, my Mother passed away suddenly and her death left me devastated.  I was a lost child with no self esteem.

   
My mother coddled me to the point of being unhealthy.  She did absolutely everything for me, to the extent that I had no self esteem and was extremely insecure.  Eventually I developed agoraphobia where I could not step foot out of my own house.   I experience extreme emotional pain which caused me to do things that I was not proud of and hurt others through my actions of anger.   Through many years of counseling, I eventually overcame this horrific phobia but I still made many poor decisions and I gripped the anger, sadness and guilt like it was my best friend.  I was not proud of who I was nor was I happy.  My self esteem was nonexistent. Because I was so hurt, I had hurt many people and felt great guilt and shame for my actions.  Sin was not even a word I was familiar with; I truly did not think about my actions, I just reacted to the pain inside.  I felt unloved and alone until one day I read a book by Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now, which told me that God loved me no matter what I had done in the past or what had happened to me.  I was put on this earth by God and was specially made.    My sins would be forgiven if I asked God for forgiveness and accepted Jesus Christ into my life.  Through Joel’s book I also learned that the past is the past and if you are going to live in the past you are going to always be the past.   

My decision was made that for the remainder of my life I was going to forgive myself for the mistakes that I had made and I was going to forget the past, but learn from it in a healthy way.  I asked God to take me into his life and forgive me of my sins.  To be a good person you must go on and live for today and not the past.  We have all made mistakes and had bad things happen to us but we are only hurting ourselves and others by living in the past.  I must say during hard times, it is much easier to pick up my old ways and live in fear, guilt and sadness but the final outcome is much better to press forward with a positive attitude living in happiness, joy and peace.

As my wonderful husband always says “I did not get where I am today by living in the past”

Let go of the past!!!

From this day forward I have made a commitment to live for today and to forgive myself and others for any wrong doings.  Hanging onto anger, sadness or guilt is not healthy for me or the world and my goal is to live a better life now!  I know that I am loved and I will continue to believe in myself!  When the sting of life bites me, I will stand tall in faith and love.